Mandated Reporting When Working With Foster or Adopted Children

When I first became a mandated reporter, I thought it was simple. If a child says they are being hurt, you pick up the phone, you call it in, and you let the professionals take over.

But then I began working with children who had been in the foster care system.

I quickly learned that for these kids, reporting isn’t always about safety in the way we think. Sometimes it’s about survival. Sometimes it’s about going home to a parent they miss desperately, even if that home isn’t safe. Sometimes it’s about leaving a home they don’t feel comfortable in. And sometimes, it’s about getting the attention they’ve learned to seek through crisis.

My own experience with a report

I once had a mom who admitted to me that she had backhanded her adoptive daughter. She wasn’t proud of it. She knew it was wrong. And in that moment, I knew we had a choice: let this be reported by someone else later and have it look like she was hiding something, or get ahead of it. We called and made the report together.

It was still taken seriously by the Department of Children and Families, but our transparency helped preserve trust and kept the lines of communication open.

When reports devastate families

I’ve also known foster and adoptive fathers accused of inappropriate touch, accusations that can shake a family to its core. Even when unfounded, the impact is devastating. The fear, the shame, the suspicion from others, it leaves scars on people who stepped in simply to help a child heal.

And yet, I’ve also seen the opposite. I’ve heard the stories where the reports were true. Where a child was harmed, and the report was the first step to protecting them. These moments are a sobering reminder that every single report must be taken seriously and investigated fully.

 
What is a mandated reporter?

A mandated reporter is someone who is legally required to report suspected child abuse or neglect to the appropriate authorities. This usually includes professionals and volunteers who work with children—teachers, counselors, healthcare workers, social workers, and, in our case, Stable Moments mentors and program directors.

What must be reported?
The exact definition varies by state, but in most places, mandated reporters must report:

• Current abuse or neglect – any situation where a child is currently being harmed or is at risk of harm.

• Past abuse – if a child discloses past abuse and the alleged abuser still has access to children, it must be reported. Sometimes mentors think, “Don’t they already know about the past abuse? Isn’t that why the child is in state custody?” The reality is, not every incident is known or documented, and your report could be the first time a specific act, pattern, or perpetrator has been brought to the attention of authorities. If the alleged abuser is still around children, even if not around your mentee, your report may help protect others.

• Sexual abuse or exploitation – whether current or past, this is always reportable.

• Witnessing domestic violence – in many states, this is considered a form of reportable harm.

If you’re ever unsure whether something meets the threshold, the safest route is to call and let the authorities decide.

The truth about false reports

Children who have experienced trauma often develop survival strategies that don’t make sense to the outside world. Lying, storytelling, and dramatic claims can be part of their coping tools. That doesn’t mean they should ever be ignored.

At Stable Moments, we hold a very simple framework for reports:

• Thank the child for sharing. They’ve taken a risk to tell you something, whether it’s true, half-true, or false.

• Do not probe for details. Let them share what they want to share.

• Mentors tell the program director immediately. The program director is also a mandated reporter and will guide the next step.

• When it’s safe, loop in the guardians. Let them know what was reported, hear their context, and (when possible) support them in making the report or make it together.

• If it’s not safe to loop in the guardians, just make the report. Safety always comes first.

• Never judge, never assume. Our role isn’t to determine truth. It’s to pass along the information to the professionals whose job it is to investigate.

Walking the line with compassion and compliance

Navigating reports in the world of childhood trauma is not black and white. It’s a murky mix of truth, survival strategy, fear, and longing. But if we can commit to staying in our lane, thanking the child, reporting as required, supporting families through the process, we can keep kids safe while also holding space for the complex reality of their lives.

Because in the end, the goal isn’t just to follow the law. The goal is to protect children, maintain trust, and help families (foster, adoptive, or biological) navigate a system that is often as traumatic as the situations it’s meant to resolve.