Being a Safe Person

for mentors for parents for program directors Aug 11, 2021
We've all heard the term "safety first", and especially while working with horses it's an important rule. At Stable Moments safety does comes first, but it goes much deeper than physical safety. Children need to feel safe before they can do anything else. Before they can learn, make good choices, communicate or trust they must first feel safe. In fact, we all need felt safety to interact as our true selves in this world.
When going new places and meeting new people, all we really want to know is: Am I safe here? Do I belong? Will I be accepted for who I am? Can I be the real me, or do I have to be an image of me? Many of us aren't even sure who our true self is. Life has demanded we wear different masks in different situations. For kids in foster care each new placement called for a new mask. A mask they helped them fit in, in an ever changing world. What's acceptable? How do I survive? Who do I need to be today?
To interact as ourselves we need to feel safe. We need to feel that we can be vulnerable with others and that vulnerability won't be used against us. At Stable Moments we create safe spaces where everyone is good enough exactly as they are. Imagine how your daily interactions might go if everyone you talked to had the intention of making you feel safe. Try being that safe person. When you're interacting with someone think to yourself "you're safe here" and see how that deepens the connections you make.

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