Don't take away the barn

for parents Dec 08, 2021
At Stable Moments we understand that parents are doing their best. We get the struggle of trying to make the right decisions for our kids, and we certainly understand the desire to ensure we aren't rewarding bad behavior.
With children and horses alike, we receive problem behaviors as information. We approach these behaviors with curiosity and try to respond to them as the areas that need the most focus. We don't see behaviors as attention-seeking, but connection-seeking and children who have endured trauma literally need safe, healthy connections to heal. This is why we beg you...don't take away the barn.
We get that your child's behavior may have been completely unacceptable over the past week, and sending them to the barn just feels wrong. Why should they be able to do things they enjoy, when they have made your home so uncomfortable to live in? But, that is what makes equine-assisted learning so unique.
Yes, they enjoy it, but it isn't completely recreational. The fact that they enjoy it means they are active participants in activities at the barn and thus active participants in their healing...and we won't get to the behaviors you desire by skipping this essential therapeutic service. The barn is where your child understands there are good people in this world, reliable people that care about them, regardless of their past or current behavior.
The connection provided by horses ignites the trauma-healing power of relationship, making the barn the place they may need the most when they are exhibiting dysregulated behaviors.
The activities at the barn focus on body attunement, emotional awareness, self-regulation, boundaries, respect, independence, and self-worth. These are all the ingredients to help a child process how they are feeling and empower them to choose a healthy response to those feelings.
Trust me, we get that being the attachment figure is HARD! We get that you live with the effects of your child's trauma day in and day out and it is taxing. We get that the therapeutic response isn't always easy and that your child's behavior may be triggering your own stuff. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We are here to help, but we can't help if you don't bring your child to sessions. So bring your kid, let us see how we can help, and let's get you a break, while your child engages in exactly what they need.

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